ATTENDING YOUR FIRST SEX PARTY

KATY THORN·MAY 22, 2015

4 MINS READ

So you’ve been invited to your first sex party. Whether it was through a very well-connected new friend or by random luck, you have the opportunity to attend something most people only fantasize about. We’re sure you’re excited but we’re willing to bet you’re also just a little bit nervous.

In fact, getting the invitation might seem like it was the easy part compared to anxiety about how to conduct yourself. Since sex party etiquette isn’t common knowledge, we went ahead and got 5 of the most important tips from someone who has actually attended a sex party.

Get Your Sexy Right

Confidence is attractive, and while you may feel like yours will be in short supply, we offer a truth: fake it 'til you make it. Looking attractive will make you feel confident, so find an outfit that will make you look and feel amazing.

Unsure what kind of attractive you should shoot for? You don’t want to show up in leather and fishnets to find everyone in silk and feathers. The best policy is to just ask the host what the dress code is.

Also, make sure to confirm with the host that there will be a place to change. Most won’t expect you to show up in outfit, and makes sure you won’t run into any embarrassing situations.

Learn the Rules

While you’re contacting the host, you should also be asking them for the rules of the party. Any event worth attending will have some clear guidelines for behavior.

They’ll vary from party to party, but most will require that you only engage in barrier-protected sex, and often men will be prohibited from initiating contact.

Whether you’re looking to play with men or women, you can’t assume that someone’s presence at a sexy party means they are willing to do everything with anyone.

A ‘no,’ or even an uncomfortable reciprocation, means you should smile, say ‘I understand’ and move along to someone else. Behaving with class is important.

Now, while it’s very important to communicate those desires and limits to the other guests, we actually just mean regular conversation making. You’re at a party with a group of (presumably) sexually open people who probably are pretty interesting in general. You’ll never know when you’ll meet someone you’re genuinely interested in getting to know (biblically or otherwise) unless you’re willing to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Even if they aren’t terribly interesting people (and not everyone who goes to an orgy is) it can help break the ice to just treat it as a regular party. Chat, mingle, work the room; if you’re looking to get another invitation, making an impression will help.

Calm Down

Now, this seems easier said than done, but something to keep in mind is that any kind of party can make some people anxious, but a lot of those same people find that once they jump in with both feet, they end up having a good time.

Whether you generally find yourself anxious in new social situations, or it’s the preconceived notion that everyone will be beautiful, remember that there are other people who are going to be just as nervous as you are.

The best people at a party, or any party, are welcoming and willing to have a chat and a laugh. By presenting a relaxed demeanor, you’ll put other people at ease and make them want to be around you.

Conclusion

We hope these tips have assuaged some of your nerves, but we know even the best advice won’t totally prepare you for your first experience! Just remember that everyone is going to be a bit nervous.

Discover pleasure with:

Katy Thorn is a post-grad writer with a passion for writing about sex, sexuality, and all things rated R. She received her degree in Women’s Studies with a focus in Intersectionality at the University of California, Berkeley (Go Bears!).

She has a cat named Yoko, drinks too much black coffee, and hates writing bios.

READ REVIEWS

Queer Wolf

Thank You!!! Made me feel better. 🙂

cook

I was wondering if you ever considered changing the structure of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.

But maybe you could a little more in thhe way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?