While frottage is often performed as a part of foreplay as bodies get closer towards intercourse, it’s also a form of sex in and of itself – especially for people who aren’t interested in penetration.

It became popular in the late 1990s with activist Bill Weintraub, who presented it as an alternative to anal penetration and oral sex that still allowed penis owners to be intimate via genital-to-genital contact. Some studies show that it’s also a form of sex for those who are averse to power play or gender roles, as there’s no dominant or submissive in charge – those who rub are equals due to the symmetry of the act.

Gay frotting can occur with either gender – it usually just goes by a different name. For two vulva owners, the equivalent would be scissoring or tribbing. That said, frotting isn’t just for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Cis-het partners can also participate, and many vulva owners experience powerful orgasms from rubbing or grinding, which is why the cowgirl position is so popular.

Always Keep It Consensual

Let us be clear: rubbing is a form of assault and is punishable by law. It’s when a person rubs themselves against someone without consent. Get consent!

Consider implementing a traffic light system with your partner – green light indicates go, while yellow means pause, and red means stop the activity.

Types of Rubbing

There are many ways to practice rubbing based on your desires and comfort level.

Genital to Genital

Dry humping with clothes on isn’t just for high schoolers — in fact, it can be just as pleasurable for adults. It may even be preferable for people who have ultra-sensitive bodies to find direct genital contact too intense. Even with clothes, pressure, and friction can be exciting. This can also be an amazing type of foreplay and amp up the anticipation.

For men, this would involve rubbing the penises and/or genitals together. Sometimes, people place a finger or a toy between each other’s genitals, increasing stimulation.

Body to Body

Frotting with clothes

Add a penis ring for the added sensation of vibrations, or insert a prostate or anal toy to wake up the P-spot if desired. For people with vulvas doing this, placing a vibrator between your bodies can intensify the experience.

For those who don’t want genital contact, body-to-body frotting allows you to rub the penis or vulva on other body parts.

While “tit jobs” are popular, a “thigh job” is also a common form of frotting, where one partner wraps their thighs around the penis.

How To Frot in Different Positions

Partners should always discuss the scenario in which they’ll be frotting, meaning that consent should be given and received.

Standing or Sitting Facing Each Other

Lay Down in Opposite Directions. By lying with heads on opposite sides, penises can still align in the middle, allowing hands to reach and also allowing for some simultaneous analysis play, if desired.

Face to Face, Lying Down. This is one of the most intimate ways to perform frotting and can be done by any gender and sexuality. For heterosexual partners, the penis-owner might rub or tap himself on his partner’s vulva. This position also allows for mutual masturbation.

If both people have an erection, they can stand or sit facing each other, rubbing the underside of the penis running parallel to one another. From this position, you can also use your hands.

Full Frontal. This is one of the most intimate ways to perform frotting and can be done by any gender and sexuality. For heterosexual partners, the penis-owner might rub or tap himself on his partner’s vulva. This position also allows for mutual masturbation.

If both people have an erection, they can stand or sit facing each other, rubbing the underside of the penis running parallel to one another. From this position, you can also use your hands.

Lay Down in Opposite Directions. By lying with heads on opposite sides, penises can still align in the middle, allowing hands to reach and also allowing for some simultaneous analysis play, if desired.

Instead of side to side, one partner will lay on top of the other, similar to the missionary positions, thrusting up and down to rub genitals together. This can be done with or without clothes.

Standing in the Shower or One Partner On Top in the Bath

Adding water into the mix can be a sexy way to mix things up and get a little slippery. If you’re doing bath or shower play, we recommend using silicone-based lubricant, as it’s longer-lasting underwater.

Frotting Tips

Watch Frot Porn for Inspiration

If you’re still having trouble envisioning your frot session, need a little creativity boost, or simply want to get in the mood by seeing how it’s done, check out the variety of frotting porn, otherwise known as frot porn, that the internet has to offer.

Use Lube To Reduce Friction

Don’t forget to use lube no matter what kind of frotting you perform since friction can cause discomfort, especially on the delicate skin of the genitals. If skin is try, chafing, irritating, or bruising can occur. Use water-based lube if silicone toys are involved.

Consider Barriers If Needed

Even though penetration isn’t happening and frotting is considered a form of risk reduction for STI transmission, safe sex is still important. If you and your partner aren’t being tested for STIs regularly, consider wearing barriers like condoms or Lorals.

Add Sex Toys

As we previously mentioned, adding toys to your frottage can increase intensity and provide different sensations. Some great options to do this are the LILY or TOR ring. A ring can help keep the penis erect for longer and delay climax – they also make mutual masturbation easier.

READ ALL COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

jim

Frotting can be very intimate, depending on how well you and your partner know one another. You are most likely both naked, lying face to face in each other’s arms, maybe kissing or talking nasty to each other anyway. I used to meet up often with a much older man for frotting sessions. He always led, which was great for me because I’m naturally quite submissive. I loved when he would be on top with his arms around me, just like fucking me, but rubbing his hard cock on mine with a little lube to make us both nice and slippery. I would cum every time. Sometimes he would scoot up near the end, and finish all over my face or in my mouth. It can be quite messy. I loved it. jim

It can also be a form of dominance where the man with the larger cock beats the smaller cock into submission. The smaller cock does not get erect while the larger one becomes harder as it slaps the other one into submission. This can be done in a cuckold situation when the bull demonstrates who is in charge before he takes the wife or uses the cuckold.

jim