HOW ANAL PLAY CAN ENHANCE PLEASURE FOR COUPLES

DONNA TURNER·APRIL 7, 2025

8 MINS READ

Anal play for partners can enhance pleasure, connection, and exploration.

It has a laundry list of physical and emotional benefits,

exploring it comfortably and safely is key to making the experience enjoyable.

Are you curious about anal stimulation? Or are you already a fan?

We’ve created a guide that will inform you about the intimacy of anal play.

Why Anal Play Enhances Pleasure for Couples

The prostate, located two inches from the rectum, is a muscular gland that produces seminal fluid.

For cisgender women, anal sex can either stimulate the G-spot or the A-spot, which are located along the vaginal wall.

The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a study that found that out of the 31% of women in the report, 94% of those women had an orgasm from anal sex.

Overall, anal sex builds intimacy as it’s a sensitive and vulnerable area of the body.

How To Introduce Anal Play to Your Partner

So, let’s say you’re ready to dive into anal play with your partner, but you aren’t sure how to bring it up.

Your partner may have questions — and you may too! It’s best to do research beforehand so that both anal play partners are sure of how to proceed.

Common concerns surrounding anal play include:

Pain: Cleanliness: Gender:

When introducing anal play, it’s important to start slow and set boundaries.

Best Techniques for Couples Exploring Anal Play

If you’re ready to understand the tips and techniques for getting down to play, the first step is with external stimulation.

Prioritize gentle touch and massage if you’re the giving partner. Anal foreplay requires cleanliness and safety. First, make sure you cut and file your nails smoothly to avoid any cuts or scratches. Wash your hands thoroughly beforehand.

Begin using fingers, tongue, or sex toys to simulate the outer area of the anus.

If you place a small vibrator on the perineum — or the entrance — of the anus, comfort and pleasure can begin to build. Anal foreplay builds trust between partners and also increases stimulation. By going slowly and using teasing techniques with the tongue or toys, the receiving partner can begin to hone in on the feeling and relax. Toys like the SORAYA Beads can be used as a vibrating entryway before using the entire toy for pleasure.

When ready, move slowly and gently. Use a water or silicone lubricant like Anal Play Gel to make the penetration easier. Water-based lubes are easier for gliding and stimulating.

Once you’re lubed up, begin with an index finger. A few finger techniques include:

Moving in a circular motion

Moving in a come hither motion.

Moving in a slow in-and-out movement

Move in a doorbell motion. Put the pad of your finger against the outside of the swelling prostate and press down like a doorbell.

To gauge the partner’s comfort, check-in and see how they’re feeling. Is there anything they don’t like? What feels good? Which motion is better?

Playing with sex toys offers a lot of variety as well as control.

Controlling pressure with a toy is easier than penetration.

Depth is another area that can be explored — how deep does your partner want you to go?

Vibrations can introduce different speeds and settings to achieve orgasm.

You can even pair toys together. For example, pair anal play with clitorial, oral, or vaginal stimulation.

Combining vaginal penetration with anal play can take intimacy to the next level.

Sex positions that work well with anal play include:

Use plenty of lubrication. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate, use water-based or silicone-based lube. Move slowly and never force anything. Rushing can cause discomfort. Only insert toys with a flared base. Clean toys before and after use. Listen to your body.

Common Mistakes To Avoid in Couples’ Anal Play

Some couples may make a few mistakes when first starting out with anal play. These include:

Skipping foreplay and relaxation. Always remember to warm the body up before jumping into penetration. If you don’t, penetration can be uncomfortable. Using oil-based lubes. Avoid oil-based lubes if using latex condoms. Ignoring your partner’s reactions. Pay attention to cues and check in regularly. Establish a safe word or non-verbal cue. Not communicating openly. Silence should be avoided during anal play. Always discuss discomforts or what you find enjoyable.

Aftercare: Strengthening Your Connection After Play

After play, aftercare occurs. It’s where couples can cuddle, reassure one another, shower together, and check in again. Aftercare helps maintain and build emotional intimacy during a vulnerable session. It’s also the perfect time to discuss what felt good or areas to improve during the next session.

Questions to ask can be:

What would you like to try again? Did it feel good when we did the doorbell motion? Would you like to clean our sex toys together? What does aftercare look like for you?

Conclusion & Call to Action

Anal play enhances intimacy, pleasure, and trust for couples. Overall, it’s something that takes time; it increases the exploration of your partner’s body and can lead to stronger bonds between partners.

Make sure to always start slow, communicate before, during, and after, and experiment with confidence.

Whether you’re jumping into bed with a vibrating prostate massager or a single finger, anal play should be seen as a new way to connect under the sheets.

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