About OCD and its implications

OCD is a term that people often use casually. Those who consider themselves to be “germaphobes” or “neat freaks” may describe themselves as being OCD about cleanliness. However, this minimizes the fact that OCD is a serious mental health condition.

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Regardless of whether the thoughts and behaviors specifically involve sex, OCD can have major implications for the intimate lives of persons who have this disorder. In this article, we’ll explore some of the more common impacts of OCD on people’s sex lives and tips for managing them.

Sexual OCD

For roughly 20-30% of people with OCD, their obsessions are sexual in nature. These obsessions often revolve around sexual taboos, such as infidelity or even sexual violence. These individuals experience unwanted, intrusive thoughts about engaging in deviant behaviors that they find to be highly distressing.

Whether they act on these obsessions is another story, though. For many people with OCD, they intentionally avoid sex out of fear that they will act on their obsession.

Another common form of sexual OCD revolves around sexual orientation. In this case, the person may experience repeated thoughts and fears that their sexual orientation will change, which may lead them to seek reassurance from others about their sexuality.

OCD can also involve relationship obsessions, such as obsessing over whether you’re in the “right” relationship, whether you are attracted to your partner, and whether your partner truly loves you.

Intrusive Thoughts During Sex

For persons with OCD, sex itself can trigger intrusive thoughts, regardless of whether one has sexual OCD. For instance, sex can trigger cleanliness obsessions due to exchange of body fluids.

Likewise, when OCD involves sexual orientation, someone may begin to question their sexuality during sex and wonder if they’re attracted to others.

OCD can appear in numerous ways during sex, but it makes it difficult to truly be in the moment and enjoy sex. Research has found that persons with OCD report high rates of sexual dissatisfaction.

OCD and “Sex Addiction”

Despite all we hear about “sex addiction,” this is not an actual medical diagnosis. The World Health Organization recognizes compulsive sexual behavior disorder, similar to “sex addiction,” and it sometimes co-occurs with OCD.

It involves engaging in repetitive sexual activities or behaviors that cause interference in everyday life. It truly feels out of control and is negatively impacting their life.

For example, this might involve seeking out sex frequently in order to confirm one’s sexual orientation. It might also involve initiating sex with one’s partner frequently.

Importantly, the sex that they’re having is often not gratifying because it stems from an underlying worry or anxiety. And while this compulsive sex may temporarily relieve anxiety.

While OCD and high sex drive are often thought of as going together, research actually finds that the rate of compulsive sexual behavior disorder is the same in persons with and without OCD.

OCD falls on the spectrum of obsessive-compulsive disorders (which also include things like body dysmorphic disorder and pathological gambling), whereas compulsive sexual behavior disorder falls on the spectrum of impulse control disorders (which also includes things like pyromania and kleptomania).

OCD After Sex

As mentioned above, for persons with OCD, sex can sometimes provide temporary relief. At the same time, however, sex can potentially worsen symptoms by flooding the brain with even more intrusive thoughts, leaving them in an even higher state of anxiety than they were in before.

To the extent that sex worsens symptoms, it can put a damper on desire and, for some, it can lead them to avoid sex altogether because they know the kind of thoughts it will trigger.

In fact, avoidance can become the new compulsion. People may seek to avoid anything remotely sexual due to fear of intrusive thoughts. Avoiding triggers is a short-term solution that can lead to problems.

What To Do If OCD Is Affecting Your Sex Life

If you have OCD and this is interfering with your intimate life, it’s important to speak with your healthcare provider to ensure a proper diagnosis and develop a treatment plan.

Fortunately, there are many solutions available. For example, medications can help in alleviating many OCD symptoms; however, some of these meds can cause sexual side effects.

ERP is often used in the treatment of OCD, by gradually exposing you to your triggers. This helps you begin to resist your compulsions.

Other things that can help include practicing mindfulness exercises, as well as getting your partner involved for more support.

OCD doesn’t have to wreck your sex life, but seek professional help to find the solution that’s right for you.

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