SEXUAL WELLNESS AFTER CANCER: A Holistic Approach
Radiation treatment and surgeries can damage nerves and blood vessels, creating issues with sexual function.
These factors can lead to relationship and intimacy challenges, especially if there are communication barriers.
The Role of Sex Toys in Sexual Recovery
Incorporate sex toys into solo and/or partnered play to work toward physical recovery and support healthy blood flow.
Toys like penis rings and vacuum pumps may help create firmer and fuller erections.
Start by using gentle and body-safe products, vaginal moisturizers, and lube to minimize sexual pain.
Best Sex Toys for Cancer Survivors
The best sex toys depend on the specific sexual difficulties someone is experiencing after cancer.
Alleviating vaginal dryness: Water-based lubes and moisturizers ensure lubrication. Vaginal dilators prepare for penetration. Soft-touch vibrators minimize pain.
Sexual Health Post-Cancer: Overcoming Emotional Barriers
As mentioned above, issues with self-love post cancer are common, so it is often important to work on ways of rebuilding one’s confidence and body acceptance. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution here, but there are several things you might consider trying.
For example, a good place to start is with body appreciation exercises where you stand in front of a mirror each day and find one thing that you like about your body. It can be anything, no matter how small. For example, maybe it’s your eyelashes or your fingernails. This is a very gradual exercise that, if practiced over time, can help you come to appreciate your body fully.
In addition, consider buying some new clothing, underwear, or lingerie that makes you feel sexy. Focusing on your diet and exercise may also help in transforming your body in ways that make you feel more body confidence after cancer.
If self-help options aren’t working for you and you still feel a fear of intimacy or are overly self-conscious about being naked with a partner, seek social support.
In cases of severe distress or anxiety, seek out professional help from a licensed sex therapist to support emotional healing. There is no shame or weakness in seeking therapy.
Cancer and Sexuality: Practical Tips for How to Regain Pleasure After Cancer Treatment
When bringing partnered sex back, take things slow. Start with self-exploration to understand your body and what feels pleasurable and comfortable. Practice mindfulness during self-pleasure to prevent distracting thoughts.
When ready for partnered intimacy, don’t rush penetration. Focus on feeling comfortable with intimate touch, without pressure, so you and your partner can relax and connect. Massage, cuddling, and sensory play can help.
It’s important to have a supportive partner when working toward rebuilding intimacy after cancer treatment. If you’re a partner of a cancer survivor, the first rule is not to pressure your partner to do anything they don’t feel comfortable with. Practice empathy and be willing to move at your partner’s pace.
Partner Intimacy After Cancer: Partner Support and Navigating Relationship Changes
With that said, it’s important to set realistic expectations here and be kind to yourself. Remember that this isn’t a race and it will take some time to get your sex life back on track. There will also be occasional setbacks where something doesn’t go as planned, but that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. Practice self-compassion and don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t always work out the way that you want (e.g., your erection goes away, orgasm doesn’t happen, etc.).
Also, be willing to expand your erotic menu. Your partner may not be ready for penetrative sex right now. Heck, they might not be ready for any kind of sex. Start by rebuilding your connection via quality time, date nights, and non-sexual touch (e.g., holding hands, cuddling) before slowing introducing more physical intimacy. Redefining sex and connecting deeply can go a long way toward restoring libido after cancer.
When both of you are ready for the clothes to come off, a good place to begin is with either sensual massage to promote relaxation or guided exercises, such as sensate focus. Sensate focus is a therapeutic technique in which partners take turns engaging in non-genital physical touch, focusing on exploring one another’s bodies without arousal or orgasm being the goal.
Conclusion
Sexual rehabilitation after cancer is a deeply personal process. Moving at your own pace and setting realistic expectations are key because this will undoubtedly take time and there may not be a complete return to how things were before.
However, you can still develop a very meaningful and fulfilling sex life together. Also, keep in mind that the process of rebuilding your connection, through both pleasure and intimacy, can be a powerful part of the overall healing process in and of itself.
To assist in recovery and holistic healing, explore body-safe and sensory-friendly sex toys and resources.
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