We all want to connect with others, and for many, that means exploring different romantic and sexual relationships, but meeting someone that you have a connection with can be easier said than done. That’s why it can be so exhilarating when you feel like you’re finally getting a hot dose of romance.

Most of us who are actively dating have been in a similar scenario: You connect with someone on app. Your conversation is electric and there’s even more chemistry in person. The conversations quickly escalate to doting on this special connection neither of you has experienced before and envisioning your futures together.

Sound familiar? If you’ve been in this situation, you may have been love bombed (or maybe you did the love bombing). This complex mix of hormones and emotions is important to understand in order to have a healthy relationship.

THE DANGERS OF “LOVE BOMBING”

NATASHA WEISS·MARCH 17, 2024

4 MINS READ

What is love bombing?

Love bombing is when someone overloads you with extreme amounts of affection at the beginning of a relationship. This can look like excessive flattery, showering you with gifts, being extra affectionate, or constantly praising you. When someone is love bombing, they get attached very quickly.

Starting a new relationship is exciting, but moving too fast can make you lose your balance and forget your priorities. That’s what happens in the case of love bombing.

This isn’t necessarily a sign of an intense connection. In fact, it could be the warning signs of an emotionally manipulative or abusive relationship, or may just lack the solid foundation most relationships need to thrive.

Signs you’re getting love bombed

How do you know if you’re getting love bombed?

While excessive displays of affection and constant communication might seem obvious, subtle signs of love bombing also exist.

Feeling uneasy despite initial excitement Sensing that something feels amiss Experiencing overwhelm in the relationship Neglecting friends/family or hobbies Partner's anger when you socialize Partner's anger when you need space Experiencing gaslighting Feeling pressured to rush the relationship

Why love bombing is a damaging behavior

Love bombing can feel amazing at first, especially if you tend to be anxious or haven’t had this attention in a while. It feels like you’re being swept off your feet, but can be harmful.

Being love bombed can give you a boost of self-esteem. Feeling interdependence is normal, but your self-esteem shouldn’t depend entirely on one person.

Setting boundaries is vital in every relationship, including love bombing ones. Relationships built on love bombing lack the boundaries needed to be healthy.

Love bombing can also be a type of manipulation. People who love bomb want to gain control of the situation, whether or not they are aware of it.

Psychologists warn that love bombing can be the start of an abusive relationship done often by people with narcissistic traits.

Can love bombing turn into a truly healthy relationship?

You realize you're in a love bombing situation needing change. You believe you have a special bond, envisioning a future.

So, can a case of love bombing be transformed into a genuinely healthy relationship?

Yes, it's possible. People evolve, and relationships can also undergo significant transformations.

Healthy communication is essential. Openly expressing intentions can foster a strong bond for couples that have intense beginnings.

Beware of warning signs. If you notice emotional abuse, it's critical to leave the relationship before things get worse.

How to end love bombing

Do you feel consistently love bombed? This might indicate low self-worth. Therapy can help to define your value.

If you love bomb, consider why. Assess your pace and motives. Are you projecting from past hurt or abandonment issues?

When love bombing, you may not see the individual clearly. Focus on their real self, rather than a concept.

While love bombing can lead to real relationships, it's a red flag. Remember your values and sources of joy.