Skip to Content

Collars & Leashes (Best for Ownership & Submission)

⭐ Why It’s Great:

A collar and leash are one of the most iconic symbols of BDSM in D/s dynamics. They can represent ownership and commitment, but also trust, which is a key part of D/s relationships. When a collar is paired with a leash, it can add control and direction, especially for those practicing obedience training.

Best for:

Those exploring or in established dominance and submission roles, as well as couples looking to add elements of training or even pet play into their BDSM power exchange.

How to Use:

When a dominant partner places a collar on a submissive, it’s not only a sign of control. It can be a ritual. When placing it on, you may want to do it slowly, making eye contact and giving verbal affirmation. After consent has been given, use the leash to gently guide, pull, or restrict the submissive’s movement. Newbies will want to start with a soft collar and gentle movements like leading their partner around the room or pulling them in for a kiss.

Handcuffs & Bondage Restraints (Best for Light to Intense Restriction)

Why It’s Great:

Handcuffs and bondage restraints can be some of the best BDSM toys for power play and create an immediate power exchange by limiting movement. Being bound is the ultimate form of surrender for a submissive, and for a dominant, it offers the thrill of control. There is a wide range of materials for cuffs, including velcro, leather, metal, and silicone. For other types of restraints, you can choose from fabric, rope, or spreader bars. This wide variety offers options for different experience levels.

Best for:

Both beginners curious about light restraint and advanced kinky people who want to be fully immobilized or hog-tied.

How to Use:

For light restraint, bind the submissive’s wrists or ankles behind their back or to furniture for light to full-body restraint. For deeper submission, add a spreader bar between legs or arms. This is one of the top submission tools that can be combined with impact play. Check circulation throughout your session.

Blindfolds (Best for Sensory Deprivation & Anticipation Play)

⭐ Why It’s Great:

Blindfolds are a simple yet powerful tool and a form of sensation play that might be found in a dominance and submission kit. By removing sight, the other senses become heightened, and the body becomes more sensitive to touch.

Best for:

Couples looking to give up control while increasing erotic tension, introducing power exchange, or exploring sensory play without more advanced gear.

How to Use:

Place the blindfold securely over the submissive’s eyes as the scene begins. As they settle into it, speak softly and pair with sensory tools such as feather ticklers or temperature play.

Gags (Best for Speech Restriction & Surrender Play)

⭐ Why It’s Great:

Ball gags, bit gags, O-ring gags, and dental gags all muffle voices or prevent talking, making them the best bondage equipment to help you explore non-verbal consent.

Best for:

Those who want to dive deeper into sensory restricted and control dynamics. Ideal for couples who have a solid trust foundation and established communication signals, since speech is removed.

How to Use:

Gently fasten the gag so that it restricts speech yet still allows the wearer to breathe easily. For more intense surrender play, play with drool, letting saliva drip.

Floggers are one of the best BDSM toys for power play since they’re versatile and come in so many designs.

⭐ Why It’s Great:

Best for:

Intermediate users who want to explore discipline and layer in sensation play.

How to Use:

Begin with light strokes on fleshy areas like the thighs, back, and buttocks.

Floggers (Best for Impact Play & Sensory Teasing)

Riding Crops & Canes (Best for Precision Impact & Discipline Play)

⭐ Why It’s Great:

Offering more of a sting than floggers, riding crops or canes provide a sharper sensation and a more targeted, precise strike with minimal effort.

Best for:

Those who enjoy structured dynamics, obedience scenarios, or a mix of pain and pleasure in discipline-based play.

How to Use:

Start with light impact, tapping or striking the thighs, buttocks, or hands, upping the intensity based on experience.

Nipple Clamps (Best for Sensory Control & Arousal Play)

⭐ Why It’s Great:

Nipples are an erogenous zone packed with nerve endings just waiting to be awakened, and nipple clamps are the perfect way to do that once the blood is flowing and nipples are erect. By introducing controlled discomfort, they can spike arousal and enhance submission. They also have a visual effect that gets people hot and bothered. Plus, adjustable tension options and materials allow for varying intensity levels.

Best for:

Those who enjoy mild to moderate pain paired with intense erogenous zone stimulation.

How to Use:

Attach the clamps gently to the nipples, letting the wearer adjust to their comfort level. Slowly increase tension and increase as desired. Removing clamps after a few minutes will allow for a sensual sensation as blood returns to the area.

Spreader Bars (Best for Forced Positioning & Leg Restraint)

⭐ Why It’s Great:

Spreader bars keep a submissive’s legs or arms held apart, enforcing erotic vulnerability and complete exposure. They prevent the restrained person from closing their body or retreating, creating irresistible power dynamics.

Best for:

Couples who want to explore full-body restraint, exhibitionism, or a scenario rooted in control and helplessness.

How to Use:

Secure the submissive’s ankles or wrists to either end of the bar so that they’re in a fixed and open position. This is the perfect toy for layering; you can combine it with a collar and leash for added submission, bring impact play toys into the mix, or pair it with cuffs, a gag, and a blindfold for a more complex sensory experience.

Electro-Stimulation Toys (Best for Intense Sensory Play & Edge Play)

⭐ Why It’s Great:

Electro-stimulation devices send controlled tingling or pulsating sensations through the skin. Otherwise known as e-stim by kinksters, these toys can be used for pleasure, discipline, or sensation control. They can provide a wide range of sensations from soft tingling to deep pulses and even trigger muscle contractions or internal stimulation without touch. While these devices are some of the best BDSM toys for power play, they’re also some of the most advanced.

Best for:

Advanced players exploring electrical stimulation play. Safety is vital with electro-play, so it’s better for more experienced people who want to push boundaries.

How to Use:

First, attach electrodes or pads to fleshy areas like the thighs, buttocks, or arms. Begin at the lowest setting, increasing intensity gradually. Close communication is vital. Some e-stim toys come with paddles, plugs, or clamps that conduct electricity for unique stimulation. You can also use these devices to reinforce commands during discipline play or play around with orgasm control, keeping a submissive on the edge of climax.

Chastity Cages (Best for Long-Term Control & Denial Play)

⭐ Why It’s Great:

Cages control orgasms and arousal for people with penises. They physically prevent a submissive from achieving an erection or orgasm and are used as a form of orgasm denial.

Best for: Advanced couples exploring long-term power play. While more intermediate partners can explore with larger cages and/or softer materials like silicone or rubber.

How to Use:

Secure the cage of the penis with a key or coded lock, ensuring the fit is snug but not painful. Decide whether it will be worn for a scene or longer-term wear, setting rules about removal.

Tips for Using These Toys Safely in BDSM Play

BDSM is intimate when paired with clear communication, consent, and boundaries. Discuss your boundaries and limits, defining hard limits and soft limits. Boundaries aren’t a one-time discussion; they should be revisited every time.

Safe words and signals are essential. For safe words, develop an agreed-upon word that means “pause” or “stop”. The traffic light system is popular — green means go, yellow means pause, and red means stop immediately.

When playing with BDSM restraints like cuffs, collars, ropes, or spreader bars, always check in to ensure the wearer is comfortable and not experiencing circulation issues. Ensure you can slip a finger or two underneath cuffs or collars.

After your session, hold space for each other by prioritizing aftercare. Aftercare can mean different things to different people, but nourishing yourself after a BDSM session is crucial since it’s common to experience fatigue or a rush of emotions.

Conclusion

Whether you’re a beginner looking to dip your toes into BDSM or a more experienced player looking to deepen your dynamics, being well-equipped with the best BDSM toys for power play can elevate your intimate experiences.

Regardless of the tools you choose, always prioritize communication, consent, and care for your partner. Go slowly and stay open, exploring with someone else who has the same desires and wants to explore similar scenarios. Contrary to media stereotypes, BDSM isn’t about pushing past comfort. It’s about expanding pleasure through mutual respect and connection. Don’t be afraid to get creative and let your journey into power play unfold!

Discover your next favorite D/s toy at LELO with our highly rated BDSM essentials.

Discover pleasure with:

Explore our products

NAIMA KARP

Writer & Wellness Expert

Naima Karp is a Toronto-based writer with over a decade of experience. She has covered sexual wellness since 2020 and has bylines in sites like Well & Good, Popsugar, SPY.com and Variety.

REPLY TO POST

Your thoughts are valuable to us. Share them below.